http://hobolobo.net/ A Fairy Tale. en-us Thu, 31 Jul 2014 09:02:42 -0700 Thu, 31 Jul 2014 09:02:42 -0700 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Bespoke HoboloboRSSer hoatzin@hobolobo.net hoatzin@hobolobo.net http://hobolobo.net/tale/7#4 CLICK! Thu, 31 Jul 2014 09:03:08 -0700 58 http://hobolobo.net/tale/7#3 CLICK! Thu, 31 Jul 2014 09:02:58 -0700 57 http://hobolobo.net/tale/7#2 CLICK! Thu, 31 Jul 2014 09:02:51 -0700 56 http://hobolobo.net/tale/7 [Please enable music autoplay and refresh the page, thnx!] Thu, 31 Jul 2014 09:02:42 -0700 55 http://hobolobo.net/tale/6#7 "Mayor? Children?" "Love your children. That is what it's all about. Explain to them what they should and shouldn't be curious about. As I single-handedly led the prayer vigil into its 74th week, it was our children that I was thinking of. Our children deserve a bright future. A future without all that pestilence and debts brought on by the excess of the mooching classes--" BZZT!! Sun, 01 Sep 2013 12:48:10 -0700 54 http://hobolobo.net/tale/6#6 "You paint a grim future, Mr. Mayor." "It's dangerous out there. That is why Hamelin needs a powerful, principled and proven leader in this time of relentless tribulation and adversity." "Let's take some calls. Hello, listener, you're on the air. Any questions for our guest?" "Yes, hi. I heard what Mr. Mayor said earlier about it being dangerous out there and my kids are outside RIGHT NOW and I don't know what to do." Sat, 03 Aug 2013 17:16:17 -0700 53 http://hobolobo.net/tale/6#5 "No doubt. Moving on to more serious matters, Mr. Mayor. Some say that you’re an illegitimate and effete interloper who is destroying the sacred institutions of Family Values and Laissez-Faire Capitalism that have been the cornerstones of Hamelin since God created it in His image--" "Listen, Chuck, we must put an end to dangerous, treasonous rhetoric that undermines the mayor and the security of this village in a time of crisis. Under my watchful eye, Hamelin may have persevered against one pest, but the un-Hamelinian forces never sleep--they’re plotting right now, biding their time, and --WHAMMO!-- before we know what hit us, jackbooted hippies curb-stomping taxpayers everywhere!" Sat, 29 Jun 2013 06:39:43 -0700 52 http://hobolobo.net/tale/6#4 "Thank you, thank you. Now, earlier today you have resoundingly beaten some very serious charges levied against you in civil court. Care to tell us about dealing with people who’ve clearly divorced themselves from reality?" "Sure. You see, Chuck, Hamelin is the greatest, richest and freest village known to man--it is a testament to our exceptionalism that our judiciary is free to impartially evaluate the claims of both the upright public servant and his shameless bully. Justice was served today." Sun, 13 Jan 2013 18:21:56 -0800 51 http://hobolobo.net/tale/6#3 "Today on Chuck Krispin Tells It How It Is: hardcore pornographic leftists, liberal sympathizers, and a heartwarming tale of pure hatred. But first, in the studio with us is none other than the mayor--welcome mayor." "Thanks for having me, Chuck. Love your show, never miss it. It's like journalism--only better." Fri, 04 Jan 2013 16:59:36 -0800 50 http://hobolobo.net/tale/6#2 The judge demanded to see the contract in question and was not satisfied with the explanation that it was a verbal agreement. Lobo was deemed in contempt of the court for bringing up a frivolous suit. What's more, the mayor countersued the Lobo for blackmail and extortion and won--now he owed a large damage sum and the cost of two trials. Sat, 18 Aug 2012 08:15:09 -0700 49 http://hobolobo.net/tale/6 That is when Hobo Lobo decided to sue the mayor and the city government for breach of contract. Sun, 12 Aug 2012 14:37:10 -0700 48 http://hobolobo.net/tale/5#6 And his goons threw the bewildered Lobo out. Thu, 19 Jul 2012 12:01:00 -0700 46 http://hobolobo.net/tale/5#5 "You damn rotten MEATBAG!" the mayor flipped out. "No, no, ‘meatbag’ is too good for you--you're not worth the meat that's hanging on yer bones--you're a ‘heatbag’, just a brief exothermic reaction in the void--AT MOST a fleeting fart in the pleasant breeze of my existence--HOW DARE YOU come to my house and threaten me--ME!--the Anointed Savior of Hamelin!?" Thu, 12 Jul 2012 11:11:11 -0700 45 http://hobolobo.net/tale/5#4 "I will gladly be discreet about all the help I provided you and the city--because I am well aware of how this shit works--but I would not think twice to draw attention to your unhonored dues were it to come to that." Wed, 04 Jul 2012 07:14:54 -0700 47 http://hobolobo.net/tale/5#3 He apologized for distracting the mayor from the affairs of state, promised to be brief and reminded him that he was owed--in compensation for services rendered--an insurmountable mountain of treasure. Tue, 26 Jun 2012 14:56:50 -0700 44 http://hobolobo.net/tale/5#2 A more hands-on approach was in order. Lobo dusted off his best suit and headed downtown. He maneuvered through the thick gooey protocol traps laid out by the bureaucracy and busted in on the mayor. Mon, 18 Jun 2012 06:12:06 -0700 43 http://hobolobo.net/tale/5 A week went by and Hamelin was still rat-free. The mayor wasn't coming by to pay the Lobo, so Lobo called the mayors' office. "Yes, um, my name is Hobo Lobo." "We didn't order any, this is some sort of mistake--" "No, no, um, I mean, er, I would like to talk to THE MAYOR... about our ARRANGEMENT..." "He is not available at this time. Good day." "Could I please leave a message?" "We're taking care of it." "Care of the message? ...Or do you mean the, erm, INVOICE I am calling about?" "Yes, it's all good." "What is? The invoice?" "Don't worry about it." "ABOUT WHAT?" "It's O.K. Thank you, vote Mayor!" A by-the-book runaround, thought Hobo Lobo. He had full intention of reaching Dick Mayor one way or another. He played little scenarios in his head where he lectured the mayor about honor and paying one's debts--but in time his righteous passions subsided and he conceded that perhaps there existed reasons for this bullshit. Mayors are busy servants of the public trust, after all. They have a lot on their minds. Sometimes things just accidentally fall through the cracks. Sat, 09 Jun 2012 08:03:01 -0700 42 http://hobolobo.net/tale/4#6 "Oh, Sancho, you liberals are so full of shit, you endanger Hamelin with your stupidity. Your loved ones should lynch you for the common good. Dick Mayor is an ineffectual commie queeirdo who’ll be the first against the wall when the true patriots of Hamelin rise up against the oppression of the arugula-latte-sipping elites..." Sat, 25 Feb 2012 22:45:58 -0800 40 http://hobolobo.net/tale/4#5 "I think so. Absolutely, Chuck. Trey Mayor is a reformist and a visionary, a true intellectual with a Mandate of Heaven. His place in history is guaranteed." Sat, 25 Feb 2012 22:45:51 -0800 39 http://hobolobo.net/tale/4#4 The Fourth Estate, Venerated Stewards of Public Opinionâ„¢, took to ruminating on the historical significance of the event. "Will they sing about Dick Mayor III and the Great Rat Deluge we've just supposedly put behind us with as much fervor and adoration as they sing about his father?" Mayor Dick Mayor's father, Mayor Dick Mayor Jr., was the mayor of Hamelin during the Big Pigeon Blitzkrieg of the previous generation. They still sung sentimental songs about his exploits. Sat, 25 Feb 2012 22:45:45 -0800 38